I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
