oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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