sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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