Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
