Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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