Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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