Someone shit on the floor
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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