who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
