Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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