i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
