Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You don't make any sense
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