whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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