I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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