So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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