I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
