i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
