i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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