I want to stick my p in your. b.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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