Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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