Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize