I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
