Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
