I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
