The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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