i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
