I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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