I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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