It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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