she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
