I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The beer is more important than you right now.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
