I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
