i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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