Will you blow on my dice?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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