Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
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I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
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Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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