I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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