i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize