Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
