Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.

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  (818): don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily. http://tfl.nu/2c0y
  Replies (24) Good night (3545) Bad night (626)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...

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  (630): I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about... http://tfl.nu/mp2d
  Replies (7) Good night (594) Bad night (2917)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school

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  (217): I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school http://tfl.nu/0e3h
  Replies (10) Good night (4422) Bad night (1021)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of

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  (253): That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of http://tfl.nu/x3nm
  Replies (3) Good night (1274) Bad night (2998)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.

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  (603): The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people. http://tfl.nu/gh99
  Replies (9) Good night (1108) Bad night (2465)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.

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  (405): We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation. http://tfl.nu/qmhd
  Replies (10) Good night (2344) Bad night (912)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...

  (434): View more from Virginia

  I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade

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  (434): Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit... (434): I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade http://tfl.nu/qzwf
  Replies (10) Good night (3358) Bad night (702)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.

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  (201): Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium. http://tfl.nu/lfpo
  Replies (11) Good night (4656) Bad night (745)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.

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  (817): I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information. http://tfl.nu/ct01
  Replies (3) Good night (1146) Bad night (704)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?

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  (336): I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/ctqb
  Replies (4) Good night (503) Bad night (1136)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"

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  (201): Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class" http://tfl.nu/e4eb
  Replies (2) Good night (774) Bad night (468)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.

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  (802): You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars. (1-802): A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning. http://tfl.nu/iq00
  Replies (6) Good night (1705) Bad night (451)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock

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  (318): My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock http://tfl.nu/d5ea
  Replies (10) Good night (1694) Bad night (371)
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  (714): View more from California

  I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?

  (1-714): View more from California

  Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious

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  (714): I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife? (1-714): Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious http://tfl.nu/3lv6
  Replies (4) Good night (1220) Bad night (399)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...

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  (405): Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time... http://tfl.nu/6vqb
  Replies (1) Good night (410) Bad night (212)

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