Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat