Texts From Last Night

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  (956): View more from Texas

  What do you think she thinks of us?

  (1-956): View more from Texas

  I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us

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  (956): What do you think she thinks of us? (1-956): I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us http://tfl.nu/ul14
  Replies (8) Good night (2410) Bad night (673)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.

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  (519): You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night. http://tfl.nu/cmtj
  Replies (3) Good night (2302) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night

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  (202): i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night http://tfl.nu/pk50
  Replies (13) Good night (4838) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.

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  (954): You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself. http://tfl.nu/qx75
  Replies (6) Good night (1067) Bad night (3247)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.

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  (302): My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever. http://tfl.nu/lkx6
  Replies (19) Good night (1685) Bad night (3349)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs

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  (403): Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs http://tfl.nu/f0zi
  Replies (3) Good night (2530) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.

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  (515): You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it. http://tfl.nu/eptf
  Replies (6) Good night (2095) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.

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  (207): Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked. http://tfl.nu/4t3j
  Replies (9) Good night (1415) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.

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  (518): Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in. http://tfl.nu/0iat
  Replies (1) Good night (759) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower

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  (414): She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower http://tfl.nu/h8q1
  Replies (1) Good night (558) Bad night (1153)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.

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  (708): Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid (1-708): I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for. http://tfl.nu/mlt7
  Replies (1) Good night (589) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"

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  (216): We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence" http://tfl.nu/k55r
  Replies (0) Good night (579) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.

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  (702): I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics. http://tfl.nu/p59u
  Replies (2) Good night (374) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.

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  (770): Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money. http://tfl.nu/gg7b
  Replies (1) Good night (664) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.

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  (850): Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell. http://tfl.nu/anpj
  Replies (1) Good night (448) Bad night (238)

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