She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
