My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
