Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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