he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Randomize
