Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He better not be in your backpack
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
