I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
