CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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