He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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