Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize