Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
