i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
