i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
