Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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