Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
