I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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