ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
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i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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