Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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