I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
time to smoke my breakfast
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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