i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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