I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
When are your genitals available?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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