Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
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He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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