I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
