Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
