We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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