All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
