somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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