yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
