I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
