She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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